I was watching TV last night and in the show this character that I really like just had her boyfriend cheat on her. The whole episode was then about whether or not she could forgive him. This got me thinking about whether I would be able to forgive someone for cheating on me.
Luckily, I have never been in a relationship where someone has cheated on me (at least that I know of). And I think that is probably for the best. I do not believe that I would be able to forgive a guy for cheating on me. I mean if he could knowingly hurt me like that, then how could I ever trust him again?
In general, I do not believe that issues are completely black and white. Most situations call for a grey area. But what could be the grey area be in cheating? It's wrong however you look at it. If you are in a relationship with someone then you need to be faithful. To me, it's just that simple.
Would some consider me hard and unforgiving for having that stance? I generally think of myself as an understanding person, but I think that is one issue that infidelity is one issue that I would not be able to get past. Does that show strength of character or the absence of tolerance? Is it cold-hearted to refuse to try and work through a problem and forgive the person or does tossing the guy out and moving on show backbone?
To be honest, I hope that this is a situation that I never have to confront. It's easy to speculate what I might do but if it were to happen to me, I might find myself going through some internal battles. Let's hope that I continue to date non-cheaters. . .
I have a no cheating policy. That said, I have read a book where I did at least understand how the wife felt. I don't know if I would have forgiven the husband, but I felt like the decision was something she thought about and made with her eyes open. The book was really her journey more than theirs as a couple which also really helped. That said, I've always been up front that cheating is bad. However, I also believe that people's view and definition of cheating varies so I think it's always important to tell someone your view instead of assuming. I believe that Rob understands that if he cheats (as in physical contact with another human being), he's in for a long, slow bout of torture. That said, he can be friends with women, hang out with them, whatever, but he'd have to stop watching sports long enough to cheat so I think I'm safe.
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