Laugh Break

A friend sent me a really funny e-mail the other day. It was full of random thoughts that are just too true. I thought I'd share a few of my favorites. It's Thursday and I figured that we could all use a laugh. Only 1 more day until the weekend!

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
• There is a great need for a sarcasm font
• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.
• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure that I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
• Lol has gone from meaning "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"
• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, I'm imaginary smart."
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in front of the line. Stay strong, brothers!
• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
• Why is it that during an icebreaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem. . .
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes and I swear that I did not make any.
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• When I meet a new guy, I'm terrified of mentioning something he hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
• I like all of the music in my ITunes except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen or so songs.
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call
• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video.
• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.