Wedding Picture!

A few weeks ago, my friend Steffanie got married. The wedding was beautiful and now I have a picture to prove it!

Joseph Fiennes

Last week, I watched the premiere of the much-hyped new TV show - Flash Forward.

I am not ashamed to admit that the main reason I watched this show was because Joseph Fiennes is in it. I love Joseph Fiennes. I think that he is one of the greatest and most under-appreciated actors of his generation. In many ways, I think that he is better than his brother Ralph, but Ralph is more famous.
Oh Joe how I love thee, let me count the ways. . .

1. He plays Robert Dudley in the movie Elizabeth. Sad but true it is this movie and Joe's character that inspired my honors thesis when I was in college. Granted after spending a year entrenched in Elizabethan history, I lost the desire to watch the movie. BUT, it is slowly coming back.
2. He is perfect in Shakespeare in Love. He's funny, charming, romantic, and handsome. It made me want to fall in love with him. In fact he is the only reason why I watch the movie given that I hate Gwyenth Paltrow and she is truly awful in it. The Oscar should have gone to Joe not to Gwyenth!
3. I love war movies - random I know - and one of my favorites is The Great Raid. As much as possible, this is an uplifting war movie as it is about a rescue mission (POW camp in the Philippines during WWII). It's a great movie and Joe is fantastic in it. He even steals the spotlight from my beloved James Franco. Sadly, Joe's character does not have such a happy ending in this movie.
4. He's also in Enemy at the Gates which is a great movie and under-appreciated. Another WWII movie but this one is about the battle of Stalingrad.
5. His next movie is a bioepic about Vivaldi! How cool is that?!
   
6. He does a really convincing American accent in Flash Forward. That's impressive to me as I cannot do a convincing English accent.
7. He dated Catherine McCormick who is one of my favorite actresses of all time. This shows that he has good taste in women. :)
8. He does a lot of theater work, which in my book makes him super cool.
   

My new "zen" approach to life

I have been trying to adopt a more "zen" approach to life. Some days it works and some days I fail miserably.

These teachings are not quite what I had in mind for my new zen lifestyle but they are pretty funny.

• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
• Always remember, you're unique. Just like everyone else.
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
• If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
• Some days you are the dog, some days you are the hydrant.
• Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
• A closed mouth gathers no foot.
• There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
• Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butt ... then things just keep getting worse.

• Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

What's Awesome Now? My New Sunglasses

So I bought an awesome pair of new sunglasses. They are burgundy - such a fun color!

I swear when I put them on I hear Fergie's Glamorous in my head.

And yes, Mike will tell me that they are so big I disappear when I wear them. And Lori will tell me that I look like a bug. BUT I DO NOT CARE.

They make me feel awesome. And that's all that matters.

Henry V

It's no secret that I love Shakespeare. I took a class called Shakespeare on Film when I was in college. It was my favorite class and it was a pure elective. We read various Shakespearean plays and then watched various film versions of them.

One of the best speeches ever written was Henry V's speech before the Battle of Agincourt. This speech is so full of passion. You understand how it motivates the soldiers. Plus, the battle itself was a really interesting point in history as it was one of the major turning points of the Hundred Years War. There was no way in hell the English should have won - they were completely outnumbered. But they did and kept the French from invading England.

Plus, the term "band of brothers" comes from this speech which is really cool.

Kenneth Branagh is the best at delivering this speech. Here's a clip from the movie. And if you look closely you can see Christian Bale as one of the young soldiers.

New Metro Billboard Campaign

Recently, there have been some interesting billboards popping up in metro stations. They are part of a new campaign by Avaaz.org. You may wonder what Avaaz stands for - I know I did. Apparently it means "voice" in many Middle Eastern languages.

This organization states their mission as "a new global web movement . . . to close the gap between the world we have, and the world most people everywhere want."

Their current campaign revolves around closing the prison at Guantanamo Bay. I think that the billboard (pictured below) is very clever. It certainly caught my eye and made me want to look up more about the organization.

Avaaz.org states the purpose of the campaign as follows: "Inspired by sustained support for an end to torture from the world community and a clear majority of Americans, Avaaz.org is launching a metro billboard ad campaign to remind policymakers that torture is illegal, unethical and a top recruiting tool for the terrorist leader Osama bin Laden and his Al Qaeda network. "



I think that this campaign is quite thought provoking. But, I'm not sure it is going to work. I doubt politicians will take this movement seriously unless they hear about it overwhelmingly from their constituents. Maybe I'll be surprised. If enough people are like me and are intrigued by the billboards, it could work.

Celebrations

Friday was Mike's birthday. We had a fun celebration and had an interesting discussion about celebrations in general.

I LOVE celebrations but only if they are not focused on me. I'm not a huge fan of being the center of attention. But I love to make a big deal out of birthdays and holidays for other people.

That's not to say that I do not love my own birthday. It's always a blast to go out to dinner with friends or family. I really like that my friend Lori's birthday is close to mine so we can kind of celebrate together. My mom's birthday is also close to mine so we usually combine the family celebration. It's more fun for me that way. I still get to enjoy it without the pressure of having people stare just at me.

My favorite celebrations are around the holidays. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's just so much fun to get everyone together. I love all of the decorations too. There is nothing more fun for me than decorating a tree. I like to take out each ornament and remember when I bought it or a memory that I associate with it.

Yes, I am a very nostalgic person.

But it's more than just decorations. Usually people are much happier around the holidays and I like that. There is a certain sense of fun that is not always present throughout the year. It would be great if we felt festive all year round, but I guess that is a pipe dream.

Sword of Damocles

I recently had a conversation that contained a few mythological references. This made me so happy! I love mythology and I love when I find someone who gets my random references. That's very cool.

One of my favorite myths is the Sword of Damocles. I actually refer to this a lot when I feel that there is impending doom. It's kind of like knowing that something bad is going to happen but not knowing exactly when it will strike. The sword is hanging over your head by barely a thread and will fall eventually.

I remember when I first learned about this myth. It was in conjunction with reading Edgar Allen Poe's The Pit and the Pendulum. I love Poe's short stories. They are always so captivating and vivid. They are usually also violent and The Pit is no exception.

But I digress.

In the actual myth, Damocles envies the life of a King. The King offers to switch places with Damocles for a day. Damocles lives it up - women, luxury, drinks, food, etc until he notices a sword hanging above his place (the king's place) at the table. It is hanging by a single frail thread. Damocles quickly realizes that being the powerful King is a precarious position to have and not really all it is cracked up to be. To live each day knowing that the sword will fall but not knowing when, is to live in hell.

I really like this myth because it teaches you:

1. Envy is worthless because the grass is not always greener on the other side
2. Perception is misleading because you may think that someone is happy and has it all but on the inside they feel very differently

Josh Groban Is Funny?

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Josh Groban. He's just awesome. There's no doubt about it.

This week Josh Groban had a guest starring role on Glee. He played himself and was in the show for all of 5 minutes. His role on Glee showed the side of him that I like best - his ability to make total fun of himself and his image. Most people do not realize how funny and self-deprecating he can be, but if you read any of his blog posts or see him in interviews, then it's very obvious.

Josh has been on Ellen numerous times, but his appearance where they sang a duet was just too funny. Josh and Ellen just ham up Total Eclipse of the Heart - which as it is a super melodramatic song is ripe for a parody. Ellen has a surprisingly good voice too! Anyway, it's my favorite television appearance of his ever. Here it is:



I also really liked when Josh sang the TV theme medly at the Emmy's. I think it surprised a lot of people that he would immitate the voices on South Park and rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. As I said, he does not take himself too seriously.



Maybe his next CD should be a spoof on classic songs. That would be funny.

hmmmm Thursday

I had a pretty lousy day on Thursday. A situation that happened at work made me realize something very important.

NEVER volunteer to help someone at work because somehow it will go badly for you. You may have the best of intentions, but inevitably something will go wrong and you will get blamed for it. People always forgets that you were providing assistance for THEIR work. It does not matter that you were trying to help them, in the end you will come out worse for wear. It is better to keep your head down and let them figure out the situation on their own. If you are asked or ordered to help, that's one thing - but don't volunteer.

But, my day perked up a bit because I had a jewelry and chocolate party to go to that evening. What could be better than hanging out with friends, trying on jewelry, and eating chocolate? Mudslide martinis and chocolate covered almonds make a fantastic dinner combination.

Plus, I got to buy this awesome necklace. I want it to come now.

I have no idea what I am going to wear it with, but I'll figure it out. It was just too awesome to resist. And I needed to buy myself a present to make up for the crappy day. . .

What Does Your Home Say About You?

A friend and I were having an interesting conversation about what your home says about you. Many people - myself included - feel that their home reflects a lot about them. If you look closely, it can be a peek into one's soul.

The question becomes - how closely do people look? I tend to be observant about these things and pick up on the vibe of a place. I notice the presence or absence of photos. The choice of wall color. The selection of art on the walls. Does the person have knickknacks? If so then in my opinion, they are probably sentimental and attribute memories to each item.

The other question is who do you allow to have this glimpse into your personality? I really hate when people come to my home and then start judging my stuff? "Oh that painting is . . . interesting." "I'm guessing that yellow is your favorite color."

On the other hand when someone is like "that's a really cool painting" or "I love this book too!" It makes me feel closer to them. I suppose it's a double-edged sword.

I asked my friend what she thinks my place says about me and this is what she said, "I think your apartment says you like yellow, Broadway, books, and movies that you are an organized and friendly person and very bright and warm."

I am not sure I would have used these same words to describe my apartment - although they are very flattering. Maybe each person who visits has a different perception.

If that's the case, it will be interesting to see what others think! I hope it's all good stuff. . .

Fall Is Here!

Fall is here, and I'm super excited. Yes, I know that Fall has not officially begun, but the weather is getting cooler and it's after Labor Day so that's good enough for me.

I love Fall so much. It's the best of the seasons. Oh Fall how I love the let me count the ways:

• The weather is neither too cold nor too hot
• Apples are in season! yum.
• It's cool enough to eat soup.
• Everything smells so good - a mix of apples, spices, pumpkin, etc
• Thanksgiving!!!!
• The new National Symphony Orchestra season starts.
  
• I can wear coats and jackets.
• It's time for boots!!!!!
  
• I get to take out a new fun leather handbag.
• There are new episodes of Gossip Girl to watch.
• It's only a few months until Christmas.

To celebrate my favorite season, I've posted a picture of Prince Edward Island in the Fall. PEI is beautiful all year round but my favorite place during my favorite season is just too much to resist!

Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze died yesterday and he was only 57 years old. That is younger than my parents which kind of scares the hell out of me. I kind of start to panic when I realize that the people I love are truly mortal. Somehow it's easier to think of them as immortal or to think that I will be gone before them so that I do not have to deal with their passings. I'm a bit of a coward in that respect.

Cancer is such a vicious disease. It's horrible to think that some people are diagnosed and then basically have the sword of Damocles hanging over their head. Knowing that death is imminent but never entirely sure exactly when it will strike. I must say that I thank god every day that my father's cancer has not come back.

For all accounts, Patrick Swayze seemed like a really nice guy. He loved his wife completely, which in my book is the ultimate mark of a good man. His movies may not have been great but they made a lot of people happy.

I cannot count how many times I have seen Dirty Dancing. When I was a kid, I used to watch the Time of Your Life end dance sequence over and over again. I will still stop and watch every time that it is on TV.

The world has lost a very cool person.

Favorite Moments of the 2009 VMAs

Last night the VMAs were on. This award show is always a lot of fun and usually has some kind of drama associated with it. And this year was no exception!

Here were my favorite moments:

• Lady Gaga arriving with Kermit the Frog as her date
• Pink arriving on a fire truck (I love Pink - she's the badass I wish I could be)
• Leighton Meester just being there. She's Blair Waldorf so having her show up anywhere makes my day. Her video Good Girls Go Bad with Cobra Starship is awesome too.
• Taylor Swift handling what was probably one of the most awkward moments of her life (on live TV having Kanye take the microphone away from you to say that you do not deserve your award) with class and grace. This is why I love her and yet another reason why I hate Kanye.
• Who said that 21 Guns was the best song ever? Oh that was me and the VMAs agreed giving it the award for best rock video. Whoo hooo.
  
• Taylor's performance on the subway. Very cool especially since she had to do it immediately after her embarrassing moment with Kanye.
• Learning that Lady Gaga can actually sing. I was really pleasantly surprised with her live version of Paparazzi.
• Loving how every time Kanye's name is mentioned the crowd boos and chants "Taylor, Taylor."
  
• Getting to see Muse's first US TV performance. And they sang Uprising. I really like that song.
  
• Tyson Ritter (lead singer of the All American Rejects) performing shirtless and with body glitter/paint. I kind of have an odd thing for him - it must be the bad boy vibe. . .
• The Tracy Morgan/Eminem/Cyndi Lauper skit. One word - hysterical
• Pink doing Cirque du Soleil moves during her performance.
• Beyonce showing that she has amazing class as well as a ton of talent. So awesome that she had Taylor come out again so that she could have her moment.
• And last but not least - Lady Gaga's outfits. She wore I think 4 or 5 different ones and each was crazier than the last.
  

Here's the video for Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship. It's my favorite new song of the night.

Failure to Communicate

I just finished the book The House at Riverton by Kate Morton. It was a really good book. Slow to start but I eventually got really into it.

What bothered me about the story is that everything would have worked out if the characters had just TALKED to one another. Shocking concept I know. If Grace had told Alfred her fears and her suspicious, they would not have had to wait 40 years to be together. If Hannah had been honest with anyone, the tragedy that happens at the end might not have occurred. Everyone was unhappy because no one knew the full story.

I suppose it's easy to sit back and judge others for failing to communicate. It's hard to lay your feelings and thoughts out there for others to pick apart. I think that as human beings we fear rejection and mockery too much to be that open. But if we could be, it would solve so many problems.

I am guilty of this myself. Rarely do I tell others what I am truly thinking. Usually I manage to internalize many of my own thoughts and feelings in an effort not to cause trouble for others. Occasionally, I get so upset or aggravated that it all spills out, but that is definitely more the exception than the rule. I wonder if my failure to be completely open and communicative has lead to misunderstandings with people. If so, what have I missed out on? Or what did I make someone unintentionally think?

Those kind of "what if" questions will drive me nuts.

Where's the Love for Springsteen?

So I took an informal poll yesterday and was SHOCKED to find out that no one really likes Bruce Springsteen. How is this possible? He's basically an American institution. His songs are so much a part of pop culture that I actually studied them in one of my college classes.

Anyway, I love you Bruce. I may not be able to recite all of your songs but I will totally rock out in my car to Born to Run, Dancing in the Dark, Hungry Heart, or Radio Nowhere.

Springsteen is actually one of the five people chosen this year to receive the Kennedy Center Honors. That is so cool. I wonder if they will get Bon Jovi to be one of the tribute performers. That would make my day.

On a more serious note, sadly today is the anniversary of the September 11th attacks. It's hard to believe that they occurred 8 years ago. In many ways, it seems like yesterday. In memory of those attacks, Springsteen wrote The Rising. It's a good song but not my favorite. However, it seemed approproiate to post in honor of the day.

Open Your Eyes

From some people who read my blog, there has been surprise that Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol is my favorite song.

The song is amazing so I'm not sure where the surprise comes from. Maybe it is because it was not one of Snow Patrol's most famous songs.

Aside from the song just being awesome, it became my ultimate favorite when it was used at the end of the pilot of the Black Donnellys - one of my favorite TV shows of all time. The music just fit so perfectly with the last 5 minutes of the show.

There is so much drama and tension in this ending. Tommy throws away his own life dreams and ambitions to protect his family. He gets sucked into a word that he never wanted to be a part of. It's just so good!

Below is the clip of the ending. My favorite part of the song comes 3 minutes in. It's just an awesome riff. And, the director of the episode timed the climax of the scene perfectly with it. It's cinematic brilliance!

Feel Good Award For Me!

Yay! I got another award for my blog. It's from April of course - the only person who actually reads my blog. That's friendship for you. :)

The Lemonade Award is a feel good award which shows great attitude or gratitude.

Here are the rules:
~Put the Lemonade Award logo on your blog or post.
~Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude.
~Link your nominees within your post.
~Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
~Share the love and link to the person from whom you received the award. Here are my nominees:

April's blog is the only one that I actually read so I am going to hold off passing along this award until I find some others that are as cool as hers. That may be an impossible plan though.

Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater

I was watching TV last night and in the show this character that I really like just had her boyfriend cheat on her. The whole episode was then about whether or not she could forgive him. This got me thinking about whether I would be able to forgive someone for cheating on me.

Luckily, I have never been in a relationship where someone has cheated on me (at least that I know of). And I think that is probably for the best. I do not believe that I would be able to forgive a guy for cheating on me. I mean if he could knowingly hurt me like that, then how could I ever trust him again?

In general, I do not believe that issues are completely black and white. Most situations call for a grey area. But what could be the grey area be in cheating? It's wrong however you look at it. If you are in a relationship with someone then you need to be faithful. To me, it's just that simple.

Would some consider me hard and unforgiving for having that stance? I generally think of myself as an understanding person, but I think that is one issue that infidelity is one issue that I would not be able to get past. Does that show strength of character or the absence of tolerance? Is it cold-hearted to refuse to try and work through a problem and forgive the person or does tossing the guy out and moving on show backbone?

To be honest, I hope that this is a situation that I never have to confront. It's easy to speculate what I might do but if it were to happen to me, I might find myself going through some internal battles. Let's hope that I continue to date non-cheaters. . .

DC is #9

According to Forbes magazine, DC is the 9th most stressful city in the US. Only Boston, Detroit, San Francisco, Providence, Cleveland, New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago outrank DC. According to the article, DC would be higher, but its low unemployment rate (thanks Government!) makes up for other shortfalls.

I completely agree that DC should be in the top ten. There is definitely an air of pressure to do well and to be successful quickly. Most people that I know what to be on a career path to bring them straight to the top before they reach 40. Plus it is an expensive city so that does not help anyone's stress level!

I am sure that other cities have a similar atmosphere, but I feel like DC's is exaggerated because of all of the politicians, staffers, and lobbyists.

I am usually stressed out so I guess I am not helping DC's reputation. Maybe I should start passing out copies of the Serenity Prayer on the metro. . .

Wedding Weekend

This past weekend, I was maid of honor in my friend's wedding. It was a busy weekend - rehearsal on Friday, wedding on Saturday, and post-wedding barbecue on Sunday. The wedding was great. The bride looked beautiful, the groom handsome, and everything went according to plan.

But, it would not be a wedding if there were not a few quirky stories.

• Apparently there was a Civil War battle near the wedding location. And the wedding day happened to be the day of the battle's reenactment. Throughout the entire wedding, we heard gun shots and cannon fire.
  
• Bride's father's comment to the gunfire - "I thought this wasn't supposed to be a shotgun wedding."
• Bride's father is a history teacher. He decided to tell the bride's brother and I all about the battle in question (neither of us had ever heard of it). However, bride's brother decides to escape partway through the conversation leaving me to listen to the rest of the lecture alone. Thanks Ben. Chivalry is truly dead.
  
• My friend started to breakout in hives from nerves. She did not feel nervous but the hives kept showing up. Poor bride was popping benedryl all day long. But that's one way to make sure that you do not get drunk at your wedding (cannot drink with benedryl - bad combo).
  
• The Groom and Groomsmen bought rockin' gigantic black sneakers with white shoelaces to wear with their tuxes. The bride did not see these until it was picture time. Surprise!
• I really really thought that I had met the make-up artist before. She looked so familiar. Then I realized that she was just a dead ringer for Hayden Panettiere from Heroes.
• I was not feeling well - massive stomach pains - and was carrying around baking soda to mix with water to help me feel better. But sometime during the night, I realized that carrying around a little bag of white powder kind of made me look like a cocaine addict.
  
• The groom's nieces and nephews were adorable. But, they had to be bribed to stand still for pictures. For every picture that they took, they got an M&M.
• I snagged my dress just seconds before we were going to take pictures. Gotta love my luck.
  
• Bride and Groom's car was truly decked out for the getaway including being completely covered in ceran wrap.
• A couple of the married guys told the groom that he now needs the "shit you need to know when you are married handbook."

This is a picture that the bride's brother took. I think it's pretty funny. Definitely does not surprise me that Gregg would ham it up and steal Steff's flowers.

To the happy couple - L'Chaim!

You're Still Great LeAnn!

LeAnn Rimes has been getting a bad rap lately. Sure she's got some personal issues, but I'm not ready to turn my back on her.

Plus, she still has an amazing voice.

When You Love Someone Like That is one of my favorite songs that she sings. It's a duet with Reba - so it's automatically awesome - but it was never released as a single. Few people know this song but it's great.

Enjoy and Happy Friday!

Ultimate Fantasy

My ultimate fantasy - no not that kind of fantasy - is to just pick a direction and start driving. Leave everything behind and just go. Start heading west with no destination in mind until I run out of money or land.

Wouldn't it be fantastic to just throw away all responsibilities? Mortgage? Who cares! Job? I'll find another one. Family? Friends? They'll understand.

To be completely carefree. To have no one expect anything of me and not to have to worry about what anyone expects of me would just be an amazing feeling.

But in the end, it's a total fantasy. I do not have it in me to throw everything away that I've worked hard to achieve. But the thought is occasionally tempting. . .

Which Beatle Are You?

I got Paul McCartney. I am ok with this. I do think he was the brains behind the Beatles. And he's still alive so that's a plus. :)
You're Paul McCartney!

You are ambitious and hardworking and you want to be appreciated for it. You're highly social and enjoy the company of others. Things come easily to you so sometimes you expect others to keep up the same pace. You are quite the people-pleaser; sometimes to a fault. You don't have to try so hard - we see you standing there.

Which Beatle Are You? - Spinner

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Fake it 'Til You Make It

I'm sure you have heard the expression "fake it 'til you make it." I never realized quite how much I live by that expression until recently.

Whenever I feel awkward or uncomfortable, I am very good about turning on a smile and making small talk. In many ways, I am a master at small talk. I'm usually able to find something that I can chat with a person about. It does not matter if I even find the particular subject interesting - just having something to chat about alleviates my awkwardness. It lightens the situation and allows me to appear engaging and gregarious. Normally, I am a complete basket case on the inside but as long as I do not appear that way - things are good.

In my opinion, the "fake it" mentality is great for networking at industry events. Let's be honest - rarely are people genuine at industry functions. Unless you are chatting with friends, people usually have some kind of agenda. Whether they are trying to figure out how to get business out of you or trying to get gossip about a mutual colleague from you, there is some master plan. But this is ok because most people know the game and can choose to play or not to play.

In personal relationships, the "fake it" mentality can be trickier. If you act somewhat carefree and completely comfortable in someone's presence when in fact you are not, then it can lead to misunderstandings. The person might think that you are so casual that you don't really care about them (because it's too much too soon). Or, they might think that you are shallow and have no capacity for serious conversations because you stick to chatting about inane subjects.

Personally, I think that it is usually a defense mechanism. It's easier to keep people at arm's length until you process your feelings toward them. When you let someone know your true feelings about various things, you let them get closer too you. When someone becomes close to you, they have the power to hurt you. I think that many people - myself included - do not want to give just anyone this power. You need to first decide if this person is worthy of trust. Can you trust them to accept you for who you are? Are they able to accept how you feel about various things without mocking you?

Not everyone that you meet is going to be worthy of this trust. In the past, I know that I've trusted people who were not worth the effort. Those experiences make you wary of opening up to the next person. That does not mean that you stop through. Just that you are more careful the next time. Being selective isn't a bad thing. It's all about self preservation.

That said I think that the "fake it til you make it" philosphopy usually gets a bad rap. But I believe that in many situations, it's the way to go. It buys you some time to process your own feelings. Just don't wait too long. Eventually you have to become genuinely comfortable or else you'll be faking life forever. Or, you will lose someone that you care about because of your fear of opening up. And that would be a shame.