One Year Later

My grandmother passed away a year ago today. She was my last remaining grandparent. She did live a long life - she was 92 when she died - but I still really miss her.

For most of my life, we were not very close. I saw her maybe two or three times a year. Once we moved to Maryland, it became maybe once or twice a year. However, for the last year and a half of her life, she lived in an assisted living facility near my parents, and I saw her much more frequently.

For the first time ever, I spent holidays with my grandmother. She came over for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, birthday dinners, etc. It was really nice. I felt like I got to know her a lot better. She was quite the character. I loved hearing stories about her mafia boyfriends and her childhood years in Little Italy. She was also extremely blunt but usually in a very funny way. It was great to see her give my dad a tough time - no one else dares to do that at home (at least not the way that she did).

It was also fun to have her nearby because I got to hear stories about my dad. My father is not much of a talker, and he rarely talks about his childhood. Hearing my grandmother tell funny stories about him made me feel like I got to know him better through her.

When she passed away, it was really tough for me. I felt like I could not grieve with my family. Her relationship with my sister and mother was strained and my father is not really one for emotion. I was not able to really cry until my friends showed up at the funeral. Once I saw them, it was like a giant release of pent up sadness. I am so grateful that they came because it was nice to be able to talk about her without having to worry about whether or not it would upset my family.

One year later, I still really miss my grandmother. I'm grateful for the time that I was able to spend with her and also very sad that the time was so short. It's hard to know that she was ready to go. She was so unhappy being away from Queens for the last few years of her life. It's tough to know that she died feeling lonely.

I chose this picture to display because it is one of my favorites. When Grandma first moved to Pennsylvania, we were so worried that she and my sister's dog Zoe would not get along. Surprisingly, they ended up becoming best buds. I love this photo because you can almost see the cartoonish hearts coming out of their eyes as they look at each other with mutual adoration.

This is how I want to remember my grandmother - happy and expressing her sharp wit and wonderful stories. I love you Grandma!